Miami Connection

It was the year 1987. Shaun was getting his soul crushed by the Cleveland Browns while Owen was taking a left at the nearest womb and taking the exit outta there! What else was happening!? Miami Connection was so bad it was filmed twice!! 

Which version do we have now? Who cares! 

Watch this movie if you love friendship, guys with their shirts off feeding each other grapes, sad stories about abandonment and loss... oh wait... this movie is about terrible acting, amazing martial arts, rods being shoved in noses surrounded by gross biker boobs, guys with their shirts off feeding each other grapes and very dull sword wounds!! 

No it isn't! 

What did I just see!? 

Just watch our 2 hour extraveganza already sheesh...

The Magic of the Golden Bear: Goldy 3

Hello! Come one, come all! Okay, come everyone that still has a face that hadn’t been ripped off by a stray bear… 

HOW DID THE GIRL SURVIVE!?

Welcome to another zany, double-jointed (vomit) circus of a time called the Son of a B-Movie Review! Didn’t get tickets? Too bad! Are you stupid!? God bless your soul…

Oh and spoiler alert, there are bears. And another spoiler, the kid DOESN’T die. Somehow…

 


Timecrimes

Gather round, it’s time for the SOABCast!  Whoa….

This episode is another one of our good movie weeks, in the same vein as Primer.  Timecrimes is a time travel movie that shows one man mistakenly shoved back in time, and trying to fix what he had already messed up.

Obviously he did NOT listen to our Primer episode, because you can’t go back and CHANGE things in the past, they have already happened that way!

Oh, we get into that, and much more in this episode, so gather round, it’s time for the SOABCast!  Whoa….

 


Killer Klowns From Outer Space

Back despite of popular demand, it’s the SOABCast!

…I feel like I’ve used that one before…

Anyway, this week is the cult classic Killer Klowns From Outer Space, In which there are…… killer klowns…. from….. outer space….  And they are REALLY CREEPY clown masks!   The acting is terrible, the writing is worse, and the “special effects” are really weird.  Except for when that biker gets his HEAD PUNCHED OFF!!! That was AWESOME!!

So check out this episode, and bring your hot dogs and helicopters and airplanes and tacos with you! 

And, if you watched the movie, you actually get that reference!

 


Dinosaur Island

Hey welcome back everyone! Well, some people welcome back. Okay, welcome back mom! Thanks for listening... what? It's called a podcast. What? I told you, it is radio but for the internet-- shut up! 

This week is Dinosaur Island! 

There are badly CGI'd dinosaurs, a creeper alien dino with a weave, more skin than you can shake a spear at and smiley face tattoos! So what are you waiting for!? 

Oh well, yeah, you may want to wait for that red traffic light but LISTEN TO THE PODCAST ALREADY!!

 


Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

It's episode 20 of the SOABCast!!!

Well, we didn't mention it IN the show, so I thought I'd mention it now....

Anyway, this week, we checked out Tucker & Dale Vs Evil!  Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine are two psycho killer hillbillies, EXCEPT for the the psycho killer part.  Some college kids they meet think they are crazy, and HILARITY ENSUES!!  And by that, I mean ALL OF THE KIDS ACCIDENTALLY KILL THEMSELVES!!!

You guys going camping!?  HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!!

 

 

Sharknado

Seek out medical supervision, it's another episode of the SOABCast!

With Jaws, no one was safe in the water.  Now, with Sharknado, literally everyone that is in or near maybe three inches of standing water is not safe!

Yes, the SyFy movie (MAN, I hate that spelling!) that took the internet by storm, Sharknado, is the subject of our show this week.  "Starring" Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, the dad from Home Alone, crazy Australian guy, and the girl with the boobs, this movie is sure to entertain you all the way to the aspirin bottle in the cabinet!  (It might give you a headache from the stupidity...)

Is it cheesy?  Yes!  Is it a crazy Asylum movie?  Yes!  Does it earn it's place on the SyFy network?  YES!!  Is there a tornado filled with sharks?!  Well, it starts as a hurricane, and then it breaks down into glorified water spouts that hit the land, I mean I GUESS you could call them tornadoes, but I don't think they would necessarily be... You know what?  Sure, there are "vortexes" that could POSSIBLY be considered tornadoes!

So check it out!

 


The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai

Hey everybody, it's the SOABCast's first ever MINISODE!! Except for that other one, but I didn't actually talk about a movie in that one, and this one I do!!

Shaun had to "go out of town" on a "business trip" because he's a "stupid jerk", so you're stuck with me talking about one of my old written reviews from my old blog, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension!

I didn't really like it!

Just check it out....

 


The Room

AAAAAAAND WE'RE BAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!

 

Did you miss us?  Yeah, didn't think so.

Well. after our long hiatus, we finally have a new episode, and boy, is it a doozie.  If you are a fan of bad movies at all, then you are disgustingly aware of The Room.  

From the space that Tommy Wiseau's brain should be, comes this mess of absolutely no plot. Watch Johnny and Lisa's "relationship play out over the course of hours, or decades, since time might not exist in this world.  Listen to Tommy Wiseau re-record his lines, POORLY, and dub them over his probably already terrible lines.  Stop and smell the roses, like you have a choice, since they are EVERYWHERE.

So come in, and listen to us complain about literally the worst movie ever.

Hi doggie!!

 


Big Money Rustlas

Straight up now tell me, do you really want to SOAB me forever?  OH OH OH!!

What is WRONG with me?!

Anyway, we're back with the SOABCast!  This week's show is the ridiculously terrible Big Money Rustlas, starring everyone's favorite Detroit-based, clown-make-upped, hardcore rap group, ICP!!!

Third favorite, maybe?

Anyway, it's a western, and it's really dumb, and the only reason it's a little bit funny is because it is completely NOT funny.  Just like every other one of the movies we do.  BUT WITH CLOWNS!!  AND VANILLA ICE!!!  AND SCREEEEEECH!!!! So..... what?  I'm NOT saying this!  This is awful!!!

.............so mosey on down to your MP3 player, and check out the SOABCast...... pad'ner.

That was the WORST!

(side note) We will be taking a slight hiatus, retooling the show, and making it better.  But stay tuned!